- I have read ever Twilight book.
- I have hated every second I have read a Twilight book.
- I was unable to stop reading said aforementioned Twilight books.
- I have watched two of the Twilight movies to date.
- I have hated both Twilight movies I have watched.
- I was unable to stop watching said aforementioned Twilight movies.
What does that sound like to you? 'Cause it sounds like CRACK to me.
Why do I hate them? There are only seven plots in human imagination. However one rearranges them, extrapolates upon them, or creatively reinvents them; at the end of the day there are seven plots to play with. Any number of authors, producers, directors, actors, and every day people come up with banal-to-brilliant ways to manage them. Twilight does this but without brilliance, originality, morality, ethics, or entertainment. Stephanie Meyer simply regurgitates them. She even comes in beneath banal.
Can I stress regurgitate enough? Ralphs, vomits, hucks, hurls, disgorges, heaves, pukes, retches, upchucks, spews, throws up(s), horks … Need I go on? Essentially, vomit is what you took in in a desirable state and is disgorged in a fairly disgusting smelly esophagus-burning and frankly uncomfortable and possibly friend/spouse/stranger off-putting state. That is what Stephanie Meyer has done with the seven classic plots.
There is nothing new to learn. No new way of thinking. No interesting way to look at ethics, morals, or behaviours. And it's not even entertaining! There is no twist that is unpredictable, surprising. There is no plot device unanticipated. No character development not mapped out in book one that changes in subsequent publications.
Yet somehow she writes addictively. Once started they cannot be stopped. Once commenced they cannot be not finished. Once translated to movies, they cannot be unwatched.
Is this not the very definition of the kind of addiction (i.e. CRACK) that we deride as class-something drug that as society we deride? By the way did I mention CRACK!
By the way, I mean no derision towards crack addicts. Obviously you derive more pleasure and benefit from your drug than we possibly can from Twilight.
Why are they addictive? I know no more to that answer than I do about why CRACK is addictive. I haven't done CRACK because I'm afraid of it. Why didn't anyone tell me to be afraid of Twilight? Our war on drugs is misguided. I'd rather be told to avoid Twilight than pot.