Notes from the Cube

I have to listen to someone plan their wedding for the next god knows how many months. Thank you noise cancelling headphones!

There are two things that drive me crazy in cube land: wedding planners and new home buyers. Mostly people realize that talking about their relationships is a no-no in cube farms and the collective resistance to listening to anyone gauche enough to do so stamps that behavior out pretty quickly. But there seems to be no one more narcissistic than a bride-to-be or a home buyer. I've been the latter, but I had an office at the time so did not inflict it on my every coworker within ear shot (just anyone who would sit still long enough to listen). I have not been a bride-to-be, but I know this. When I am, I will avail myself of the private visitor offices and phone rooms to plan the wedding, I swear it!

This is the second wedding in five months that I've been at this job. I can tolerate the just-before-the-wedding jitteriness of any bride, but not hearing about the incessant pickiness over venue, colors, cut of one Vera Wang over another (really, people are still buying Vera Wang wedding dresses?). I think even talk of the shoes will get to me.

Employers should rate the productivity of cubed employees directly related to the proximity of an impending bride.

It's going to be a long few months. I think I'm going to have to develop an entire playlist just for getting through the venue choices. Suggestions for when it comes to bridesmaid dresses and impending Bride-zilla episodes are welcome.